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Drash
for Shabbat Chayei Sarah Chayei Sarah tells two stories: Sarah’s death and burial, and Rebekah’s betrothal. In this second narrative, Abraham sends a servant to the land of his birthplace with directions to find a wife for Isaac. When the servant arrived he asked God to provide a sign to let him know when he meets this woman. The sign for which he asked was granted—to the letter—and he knew Rebekah was the woman he was seeking. Just as is the case with all of the Torah, many lessons can be discovered in the story of Rebekah’s betrothal. I settled on the lesson that God stands behind all human arrangements and will provide us signs to help us make a decision—perhaps not as clear and concise a sign as that provided Abraham’s servant, but a sign nonetheless. All we need to do to benefit from God’s provision of help and guidance is to keep an open mind and an open heart, allowing us to perceive an offered sign. I don’t know how each of you who have participated in the Drash Program approach your task, but I usually mull the Torah portion in my mind for a while hoping that time and persistence will clarify my thoughts and allow something of value to emerge. I have never told a personal story in the drashot I have written in the past, but aim for something that everyone can apply to their own experience. But then, after several hours of thinking about this story, I perceived a sign that had escaped me to this point. I volunteered to do the Drash at this time of the year as a memorial to my late, beloved husband Ted, whose Yahrzeit was a couple of weeks ago. Joe Steiner tried to honor my request, but finding that the weeks closest to Ted’s Yahrzeit were already assigned to families of Bar Mitzvahs, gave me this date and, therefore, this parasha that spoke to me and my experience of finding this man who would become my husband. Perhaps I was given a sign that this time I should abandon my usual approach and tell you a personal story. For those of you who knew and perhaps loved my Ted, you can verify that he was an extraordinary man. Intelligent, witty (actually, he was just plain funny), kind, thoughtful, loquacious and eloquent, joyful and generous in spirit and in deed. We shared little in terms of background— significantly different in ages, different religions, and different rearing in different parts of the country, and more. As I thought about this time some 30 years ago when we began our relationship, I realized that I, very fortunately, must have had that open mind and open heart of which I spoke. While there were many reasons that I should have been dissuaded from the prospect of marrying Ted, I perceived the signs that allowed me to understand that this man of joy and love was exactly the right man for me. Thank God (literally) that Ted and I were open to the signs that we should put aside these differences and welcome the great good fortune that we had in finding each other. So do this—listen to the signs that God gives you and allow God to help you make the decisions that will be right for you and for those you love. Shabbat Shalom.
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