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Drash
for Shabbat Matot-Masei The first chapter of this parasha is dedicated to the subject of Neders (vows) and the complications which arise by making a vow. The Torah does not prescribe vows, it only regulates them. Humans used to make vows when they were in distress and then do as vowed when the distress was over. Vows were made voluntarily, but once made they were regarded as compulsory. Rabbis and sages advised us not to make vows lightly and always think out thoroughly and clearly before making a vow which we may not adhere to. Our promises should be as good as gold without the need to be enforced by making a vow. Sometimes we are forced by others to make a vow at their deathbeds. Such vows can be nullified because they were made under duress. In reference to women making vows the laws are somewhat different. When a father hears of a vow his daughter living at home made he can disavow it. A husband can do the same, but it must be done at once or else the vow stands. Our sages in general disapproved of self-imposed abstinence. A human being should enjoy life and all it offers. It is said that when we meet our maker we have to give a strict account of all we could have enjoyed in life and did not. The Torah states the law as follows: "When you make a vow to the Lord your God, you must pay it without delay.... if you refrain from making a vow, that is no sin for you" The rabbis warn us that our Yea and Nay must be truthful. For example; if we promise to pay our dues to Temple do that B'li Neder (without vow) so if we do not keep our promise, we only have to answer to our Rabbis and the board. But if we introduce God into the equation then our troubles begin. If we have the money let's give it without a vow. If however we don't have the money, delay the giving till we do. On Yom Kippur when we chant the Kol Nidre, we ask of God to forgive our vows which we made from last Yom Kippur to this Yom Kippur. An earlier version says from this Yom Kippur to the next Yom Kippur. What an interesting approach. Let's always remember that the words and promises we utter are not said lightly and we can be trusted to keep our promises. Only then we shall leave a good name when we are gone. Shabbat Shalom. |